Have you watched someone you’ve known for a long time transform the person they are? Maybe you’re the person that’s been transformed? Transformation is something we all experience as we navigate the different seasons of our life. While we wish it were this beautiful, linear, happy process, that’s quite often not the case.
Transformation typically happens when we least expect it. The symptoms of metamorphosis are experiencing significant dissatisfaction, circumstances beyond our control, and sometimes when we’ve personally decided that “enough is enough”. Here are some signs that it’s time to explore what it will take to make a transformation.
- When you feel stuck and powerless. If you hear yourself consistently saying “I know, I know, I know.” yet you’re still stuck, it’s a good sign it’s time for a change. Stuckness is a sign of learned helplessness and you CAN get out of the rut you’re in. Getting help with becoming resilient and learning to be optimistic can help you rise up and get out of this rut.
- When it’s everyone else’s fault. Has someone recently told you that you’re “playing the victim”? or have YOU realized that you feel like a victim? When you’re blaming the world and scared of taking responsibility, it’s a good time to change.
- When people are tired of you being around. When we are blaming others and convinced we’re a victim not only are we experiencing a cognitive distortion – we’re also experiencing high-levels of self-pity as a substitute for real self-love. Feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming others is a surefire way to push those around us away and it’s something that we can overcome. If you notice that others are avoiding you (or you just feel that they are), it’s time to engage in some self-reflection to determine why. Or better yet, you can ask them – and be ready for their honest feedback.
- When you feel miserable. When people are being distant from you or you can’t even stand to be around yourself, life can get pretty miserable. If you find that you can’t find joy in anything and that you dread every day, it’s time for a transformation.
- When you are feeling divine discontent. Divine discontent is a profound feeling of dissatisfaction or an urge to be more than you are. Divine discontent is a sign that something internal is preventing you from becoming the best you that you can be. The disconnect could be caused by not having the skills, the beliefs, or the knowledge to get where you want to be or by not being able to envision yourself as the person that can achieve your goals. Discovering the barriers to your happiness will set you free if do the work to remove the barriers.
When we are experiencing some (or all) of these signs, it limits us from living the life we know we are capable of living. Therefore, it’s important to recognize that we are in need of some change. Once we are aware, we can create a plan to make the change.